But I want to address something that's been bugging me lately. And probably bugging a number of wealthy people, if they have any conscience. And that's guilt.
Yes, I feel guilty. I feel guilty because, despite the fact I feel I've earned my own fortune through hard work and talent, I'm also aware that there are many other hardworking people out there who are struggling and not enjoying the privileges I have.
I recently returned from a prolonged vacation to a country where the average citizen makes a bare fraction of what the average American makes. Some friends joined us on this trip -- friends whose net worth is about twenty times what I'm worth. They're worth about, oh, two hundred million dollars. They made their fortune through their own ingenuity and hard work -- in other words, they invented something that's used everywhere in today's digital age. Their wealth was definitely not inherited, and both of them came from struggling backgrounds. Now they've got more money than they ever dreamed they'd have. And they suffer from guilt. Just as I do.
So what do we do with this guilt? We tip. Exorbitantly. There we were, in a country where many people don't even have running water, and we felt compelled to leave large sums of money wherever we went. This despite the fact we are, at heart, penny pinching Yankees.
But sometimes I wonder whether we end up looking like crass American buffoons because of this.
One day, my husband and I took a 5-mile hike and got stranded in a very poor village in the middle of nowhere. We thought there'd be taxis, but couldn't find a single one. So we asked a local man where to find a taxi. He hailed some friends over, a group of friendly young men in a car, and they cheerfully made room for us in their already over-crowded car. Though we could hardly communicate, due to the language barrier, they managed to drive us back to where our car was parked, and let us off. In gratitude, we handed these nice young men the equivalent of $40 -- a fortune for them, but we were so happy not to have to hike back those 5 miles, so it was worth it to us.
Judging by their expressions, they were both astonished -- and perhaps a bit insulted. They had offered us this ride out of sheer friendliness, and we had somehow turned it into a financial transaction.
Afterwards, I felt badly. We had robbed them of the pleasure of simply being kind to foreign visitors. On the other hand, I wanted to show my gratitude, and money was the only way I could think of doing it.
So what's the answer? I don't know. We want to show our gratitude, yet we feel we're somehow insulting people who just want to show us kindness. This is something that bothers me. I don't know how to handle it. I feel guilty for having so much -- indeed, I feel guilty sometimes for just being American, considering how much of the world is hungry.
4 comments:
I always tell myself that, there's at least, one person in two days who comes across my blog. So, that applies to yours too.
Anyway, I am not rich at all but I kind of feel what you're going through.
However, you have what have because you worked so damn hard for it. You're feeling guilty because when another person looks at you, they conclude that you're not human, judging by how rich you're. Whereas, you are human. It just that, you have a different life from that of a person who is not wealthy.
I could say, feeling guilty is just normal. I mean, I sometimes come across situations where I have to help someone. But, because I don't have money, I offer my hand to the person and I offer my advise as that is all I can offer.
Nonetheless, I sometimes feel guilty that I cannot help someone financially. But, what I have came to understand is that, I can feel guity all I want,but if I don't have money, I don't have it. Period.
Otherwise, great blog!
Hello -
You should do more writing; what you wrote is very engaging and thought-provoking. I'd really like to hear about how things have been going for you since your last post.
Best of luck to you!
Regards, Paul
Paul, I did not think anyone was reading the blog! And frankly, I was feeling uneasy that someday someone will discover who I am. I do appreciate that you took the time to let me know you like the blog!
Perhaps I should write some updates, especially as the economy slowly improves -- for some people. But the disparity in wealth continues to bother me.
Mme X.
I get your feeling ... but I'd argue that it's not only a millionaire struggle... I have felt that way before with people and it was simply a miscommunication or not realizing where they were coming from kind of thing... and I am nowhere near millionaire status...
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