Everyone wants a piece of you

And this is the downside of being a millionaire.

Ever since I became known locally as the lady with the money, the lady who'd "made it," I find that my friendships (such as they were) have changed. My dearest, oldest friends remain my friends. These are the people who knew me when, before I became famous, before my bank account swelled to what it is today. Soon after I became a success (and very publicly too) I walked into a local fish market, and some guy in the store said, loudly, "I'd like some of her clams."

I never ventured into that fish market again.

My peripheral acquaintances have morphed into a different sort of relationship. Suddenly I'll get an email from someone I haven't heard from in years. Or I'll get a phone call from someone who wants to talk to me about their latest "project." Or I get begging letters, from charities -- some worthwhile, some not -- telling me that a representative would like to sit down and explain to me how important their organization is. (Followed, of course, by a request for a check.)

I'm sick of it.

I've stopped answering the phone if Caller I.D. shows me an unfamiliar number. I don't return calls from charities I don't support. I react to every surprise invitation with suspicion. I want, most of all, to be left alone.

I feel like the cow that's been milked too many times and I just want to have my old friendships back. The friendships that have nothing to do with money.

Part of the problem is that I'm also in a position to influence the careers of many other people in my field -- and I get asked for favors all the time. Sometimes I'm delighted to help out. Other times, I know that people are being nice to me only because of what I can do for them. I feel used and abused by complete strangers who only want what I can give them.

This is a reason that rich people only hang out with other rich people.

I never understood this before. I thought that rich people were just being exclusive, and wouldn't deign to hang out with the "common folk." Now that I am (sort of) a rich person, I've discovered that rich people are dealing with the issues that I'm dealing with -- a sad realization that no one likes us for who we are, but for what we can give them.

A friend of mine is a really well-known singer/songwriter who's made a fortune with his art. He socializes with almost no one. But we've become friends, and primarily for this reason: I need nothing from him, and he needs nothing from me. We can relate as equals. We want to be friends with people who aren't millionaires, but we've been burned so many times that we've lost our trust in people liking us for just who we are.

So we begin to hang out only with people in our tax bracket. People with our level of professional achievement.

I'm sad about this because I grew up middle class and I feel most comfortable with other middle class people. Yet I'm cautious and suspicious of any approaches by regular people.

If you are a "regular" person, here's a hint: be friendly to your local millionaire. Don't be friendly because of the favors you can ask of them, but because you have other things on common with them. They may be lonely, and for good reason -- no one relates to them in a "normal" way. Everyone wants a favor of them. If you like them as people, then relate to them as people. Not as the guy with the big bank account.

They're human, just like you.